a very skrammy christmas

by Raccoon City

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This is a chrismus album

credits

released 18 December 2014

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Track Name: twas the night before chrismas
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse
the stockings were hung by the chimney with care
in hope that st nicholas would soon be there

raccoon city were nestled all snug in their beds
while visions of anime danced in their heads
and levi in his v neck and mitch in his cap
had just settled down for an aussie summer nap

when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
mitch sprang from the bed to see what was the matter
away to the window he flew like a flash
pushed open the shutters after hiding their stash

And then, in a twinkling, he heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As they drew in their head, and were turning around,
Down the chimney santa came with a bound.

in his hand a sack where presents should be
"hey santa where's all your presents for me"
"oh raccoon city you're the worst cunts on earth
even worse than those cunts foxes from perth."

"i'll bring you no presents this christmas day
until you can write and sing and play.
the greatest christmas album that ever was.
now it's time for raccoon city to save christmas
Track Name: santa is dog
I'll be home for christmas
You can plan on me
to drink lots of eggnog
and piss on the christmas tree

Christmas eve will find me
in my christmas cavern
feeding on moss and bugs
please let me have them

ill be home for christmas
soaking in santas bloodn
my enemies all die swiftly
i kill santa good

christmas eve will find me
standing over his festering corpse
fuck you santa you dog
you dog you dog you dog
Track Name: 50% percent off
infiltrate the throne of the corporate system
midnight elf crawling through the snow
dismantle the fault of the human condiiton
consumerist claws that will never let go
the sales grip bounds me ever so tight
controlling my every move
my every thought
cant look away from the gleam
of freshly packaged steel
need need needwantwantwant
everything ive ver seen
need need needwantwantwant
everything my hands rashly touch
20, 30 , 50 percent off
can't they tell when I've had enough
can't spend any more out of my means
need this money to get by
Track Name: rundle mall chrismus
yesterday i hung the mistle toe above my door
but i'm still so lonely crying on the floor
please someone kiss me this christmas
i don't wanna see santa on my own

please come to rundle mall with me
and come to the winter wonderland
we can get our picture taken
with santa and the elves
i believe in magic
do you believe in me (santa)
Track Name: chemtrailz
Santas leaking chemtrails
Up in the North Pole sky
And the government are being naughty boys
Trying to cover up his lies

Please bring me more presents santa
I don't want to be sad anymore
But please don't bring the
FBI to my door.
Track Name: egg nog on my mind
its decembner 25th again
no money no presents
nowhere to go
no one to kiss me
no place to call my home
cant buy my dad
another rolex
with minimum wage
and student debts
no presents for me
this christmas eve
no where to sleep
no where to be
nothing but eggnog
on my mind
it's christmas time

every year i'm stading wondering
whens he gonna come down that chimney again
every year i'm left hoping
that he comes back to me again

no hope for the children
no hope for my christmas
Track Name: memey christmus feat: Mariah Anzil Meme's
it's christmas with my bae
and i can't wait to give my gift
when we wake up in the morning
and she unwraps my present

["oh my god dylan."
"you got me a brand new meme"
"this is the best christmas ever"
"if you know what i meme:

meme christmas,
it's a memey memey christmas
and i can't wait to meme
next christmas eve.
Track Name: sandy claws
its christmas time so we better spread the joy
lets give it up for my main nicky boy
thats sanata claus for you uncultured plebs
he's the guy who gets the letters you send
I'm getting excited cause i've been real good
this year i'll get presents i know i should
it's christmas day and I run to the tree
i turn the corner and what do i see
a big fuck you, there's no presents for me
i look up at the sky and then i scream
fuck sandy claws i lay a curse on thee
an enternity on the streets of adelaide
tormented soul to walk the everglade
maybe next time when he's wrapping presents
he'll remember raccoon citys lament
donate us gifts or we won't save christmas